So my self imposed year of 'dating-so-it-doesn't-matter' is almost up. This was brave new experiment in dating men who were not 'really' available. After an almost 15-year marriage and some serious heartache I decided to only date "Mr. Wrong" as in right for right now- but wrong for future dreams and happily ever after.
It led to some interesting situations. For the most part- anyone who was a candidate for 'riding-off-into-the-sunset' was voted of the island on the first date. And that went well for awhile. I will share tales of 'open' relationships and dating- what a total cluster fuck that has been. Can I just say- don't believe the hype by sista's and brotha's. I have found that those who purport to be the most 'open' are in fact the most conventional and jealous. Lets just say I got my ass kicked in a few ways... Things are not as a they appear.
That said- I have met two really, really nice men - and then there is my ongoing 'situation' with Mumbles that is evolving as some seriously bad mojo got interjected through a door he opened. Things are evolving there. I learned a lot about false appearances and the pettiness and cruelty of jealousy when denied by its holder.
I am less then a month away from possibly exiting my self imposed "don't-take-it-seriously" exile and find myself dating someone who I really like. Its way, way too soon- but I think I like him in that look into the future and smile kind of way... In other words, I have a big crush on someone who is really an appropriate guy to be crushed out on. And, I think, he has a bit of a crush on me as well. I really like him- he is smart, sexy, and nice.
This is my first big crush with an open ended visage since I started dating "the ex" back in the day. Right now, I am just observing and taking it all in.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Cast of Characters and Back Story
OK- so about two years ago- I found myself:
a) without my husband
b) 80-pounds lighter with a hardbody and bootie for days
c) writing a profile on OK Cupid
Those elements combined with an onboard sense of adventure have led me into some entertaining situations. I took one year off to mourn and do therapy and the last 12-months to "date". Let me give you a list of the current cast of characters:
Accidental MILF- me - old as fuck and given that name by some friend or two or three... anyway, I am pushing 50 and need more botox now! I also have young kids -so I am the babies and botox generation for sure.
The Manor- the crazy house I rent
Za-za- the three year old who is cute as the dickens but basically channels Linda Blair's character in the exorcist
The Queen- the four year old- she thinks she is in charge
OK- now for the men:
The Ex - loved him too death and then he got broken. I am the sole supporter for our merry band of marauders
Mumbles - formerly known as "Smitten" - trouble with a capital "T" and presented as in an open relationship- which appears to be more theoretical than actual as recent events have revealed -- need I say more? Oh, I will....
Stop Motion- lovely - complicated - where we stand is to be determined - I have great fondness for him
SoulSurfer - sigh!!!! I really like this guy... it's very new
There are a few other characters- but no real players. But 'oh my' are there epic numbers of first dates to be shared... tales to be woven and told. Grab a scorecard- because the games are about to begin!
a) without my husband
b) 80-pounds lighter with a hardbody and bootie for days
c) writing a profile on OK Cupid
Those elements combined with an onboard sense of adventure have led me into some entertaining situations. I took one year off to mourn and do therapy and the last 12-months to "date". Let me give you a list of the current cast of characters:
Accidental MILF- me - old as fuck and given that name by some friend or two or three... anyway, I am pushing 50 and need more botox now! I also have young kids -so I am the babies and botox generation for sure.
The Manor- the crazy house I rent
Za-za- the three year old who is cute as the dickens but basically channels Linda Blair's character in the exorcist
The Queen- the four year old- she thinks she is in charge
OK- now for the men:
The Ex - loved him too death and then he got broken. I am the sole supporter for our merry band of marauders
Mumbles - formerly known as "Smitten" - trouble with a capital "T" and presented as in an open relationship- which appears to be more theoretical than actual as recent events have revealed -- need I say more? Oh, I will....
Stop Motion- lovely - complicated - where we stand is to be determined - I have great fondness for him
SoulSurfer - sigh!!!! I really like this guy... it's very new
There are a few other characters- but no real players. But 'oh my' are there epic numbers of first dates to be shared... tales to be woven and told. Grab a scorecard- because the games are about to begin!
Back To Blogging
I know its been tumbleweeds around here- but....
Let me give you a status update:
1) Was totally romanced- all was well
2) Got my ass kicked - or more like got my heart kicked
3) Recovered remarkably quickly - but shed a few tears
4) Operating and dating with more balance these days
I really allowed myself to be wooed by Smitten. Smitten is still in the picture, I am just a lot more realistic about the role he will play in my life. And realize that I want to date men who can and will play a different role.
Ultimately, I do want to be with someone who can commit to being emotionally available and with whom I can consistently spend 2-4 times a week. I am not sure I want the whole family thing, or the daily contact of living together- but I do want a go to person emotionally and I do want someone whose wants to spend time together regularly and who I least talk/text/email/etc. daily.
Let me give you a status update:
1) Was totally romanced- all was well
2) Got my ass kicked - or more like got my heart kicked
3) Recovered remarkably quickly - but shed a few tears
4) Operating and dating with more balance these days
I really allowed myself to be wooed by Smitten. Smitten is still in the picture, I am just a lot more realistic about the role he will play in my life. And realize that I want to date men who can and will play a different role.
Ultimately, I do want to be with someone who can commit to being emotionally available and with whom I can consistently spend 2-4 times a week. I am not sure I want the whole family thing, or the daily contact of living together- but I do want a go to person emotionally and I do want someone whose wants to spend time together regularly and who I least talk/text/email/etc. daily.
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